Silicone

I don’t want to forget

that time I started crying

on the bus.

Pulling apart all

the sticky red layers,

all the oozing chunks of heart.

Tearing them out

and away from me

Away Away Away

In ‘I can’t do this alone

any more,

I don’t know how anyone ever does’
And throwing them up

above my head

Toward the stars

Watching each pulsing
component

Become a star in itself.

The star of her
And him
And them
And you
And all the fears and dreams

and aches.
I watched them all become stars
High up up up
Away from me now
And glittering
Tiny pinpricks – still there
Only guiding, now.
The constellation of my,
Their,
Our,
chaos.

Cradled in that consistency of sky.

And I asked that father spirit
of blue
If it would all be alright
If I could peel the glaze away from my eyes
For a while
Peel the societal silicone
From my heart
And just be.

I was on the bus
And I cried.

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