My mother always told us that the reason we moved was the weather

That after twenty years she’d had enough of the dark

It took me ten to move right on back

But only my first winter

To understand


I layer against the cold religiously

Hoping that with each protective skin

(warmth stolen from some animal)

I will feel less

Now I layer against a chill

That has nothing to do with the wind

Growing paler from the inside out

I crave the sun for more than my body

Crave light to keep my sanity

Because shivering in bed at midday

With only the cave of mind left to wander

(discovering I am some animal, whimpering for its mother)

I feel less

My friends tell me it’s okay

Try to melt ice with their stubborn smiles

And maybe they are stronger than I

But a girl said to me once that it is terrifying how much we rely on the sun

It is terrifying to me

that we ever thought we did not


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