Lotus Mud

In this place there is hurt and beauty,
Mud and a lotus born from the dirt.
In this place there is regret and relief,
Sobbing and heartbreak and laughter and shooting stars,
We all have the same holes in our hearts.
Everything is falling apart at the same time that it’s all coming together
Perfectly.
For this next step, this next chapter, this next big breath in.
Breathe in now, dear one, and feel your sorrow.
Feel the pain you caused and let it out.
Like a vessel full to bursting with all the years you should have cried,
So long ago.
Overflow.
You’ve been holding your breath, hiding in the depths, and now you’re bathed in light.
It’s all going to be alright.
You’re so human and you’re so growing, so use these tools, this hammer and nail.
Build your new place to dwell.
Make it a sanctuary, a haven where only love can enter.
Use mud as your foundation, that brown earth from which life springs.
Sing and dance as you grow strong.
Sing and dance when you feel weak.
Sing and dance as the ancients did, calling spirits to your aid.
Let them carry you when you’re empty and afraid.

A tiny bird flew into my window, gasped, and died at my feet.
To not speak to me of love, but of truth.
Of the ruthlessness with which life dies,
And the selfishness in which all of us cry.
And the anger I feel in my stomach, fire fuelled by my own lies.

I will die.
But right now I am alive.
And while one tiny birds life faded and whispered out into the blue,
I was learning how to fly.

Spirits hold me in your whips yarns and tell me all your stories.
Take me to a land of plenty.
Leave me in the barren desert.
Drown my sobs out in the river and baptise me anew.
I want to feel new, full, light, strong. Washed and rid of my wrongs.
To know that it’s all right really.
It’s all, really, alright.

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